The Tongue Has No Bones

Regardless of whether you were born and raised with biological siblings or not, we are all (or 'should' be) Responsible for our Actions and be aware how these Actions can affect or effect people.

 “Affect” as a verb.  (The norm) To have an influence on; to impress or to move; to produce a change in something or someone.

 “Effect” as a noun.  (Common usage) Something brought about; a result.

Through personal development, I've come to understand how pivotal our Thoughts, Words, Actions are on other peoples Growth or Failure. Obviously what we think, say & do affects our own lives, but would you think before you spoke if you knew your words could bring about death?

"Death and life are in the power of the TONGUE, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it for death or life"

"The TONGUE has no Bones. But it is strong enough to Break a Heart. So be careful what you say."

The negative activities we take part in, the negative thoughts we have the disrespectful language we use is killing our young generation, its killing our inheritance its killing our future and family.

We are quickly losing our sense of community, the streets rife with youths eager for a fight because they lack adequate communication skills to deal with debates and discussions. Young Girls are thirsty for attention so skirts are shorter and crying out for Love so allow themselves to be used, tops are non-existent and make up is over the top. Young Guys are refusing to grow up, have no idea what it means to be faithful nor do they know what Respect looks like.

"It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community."

This is no example of how life should be lived.

Instead shouldn't we have;

"affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely."

Like it or not we all go through Life having Relationships with people, i.e. with our peers, friends, family, teachers, shop keepers, work colleagues, neighbours and even enemies. 

I'm sure you've come to realise at times, some of these people have either made you really happy or got you angry?!.. 

We live in a world where we can not avoid people (and shouldn't really, as its not healthy), it is believed that there's at least six degrees of separation between two people.

So be careful how you treat people because you never know when a kind act today will help you tomorrow.

Use your skills and abilities to have a positive influence on those around you. You may not see yourself as an Influential person but if you are a Leader or find that people around you either listen to or want to hear what you have to say, you have some sort of Influence.

Make it your responsibility to Mentor, Lead, Teach, Support, Guide a young person, peer, friend or those around you.

FYB Connection

Its None of Your Business

Dear FYB,
I have a medical condition that means i get tired easily, im prone to being ill and im on a shorter school timetable. But the girls at school keep asking me about why im off or late or not participating. I don't want to talk to them about it, if they are my friend then they would stop asking me about it. Im upset because people are talking about it all the time and some people are making up illnesses that i don't have.

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear about what's been going on. I can understand why you would be upset; people who call themselves friends should be the first people you are supposed to be able to talk too & feel comfortable with. So it doesn't help when they are the ones along with the others that say unkind and insensitive things.

It sounds as though you have made a personal decision not to tell them specifically what you are going through, which is fine as you have the right not to tell them; so don't allow them to make you feel guilty for not telling them. Like you said if they are your friends they should be able to talk about other things.

Have you thought about looking at ways to address their curiosity?
Most people ask lots of questions when they are curious about something. If they are not told that you have a medical condition, yet see you possibly being treated differently they will get curious. If your allowed to come into school later in the day than they are or if you're allowed not to participate in PE for example, they will want to know why. This is because from their perspective it looks unfair, mainly because who wouldn't like to come to school later or have the choice not to do P.E especially on a day where you can't be bothered or don't have your kit?

I wouldn't dwell too much on their questions, but start thinking of some really good replies, so that you take control on what is being said and whether or not you want to entertain further conversations with them.

My examples would be to reply with sentences like:

• There is a reason why I'm allowed to come into school later than you, but I don't want to talk about it.
• Miss/Sir knows why I can't do P.E so that's the most important thing.
• I'm taking a break because I don't feel well; I will be ok soon, thank you for asking.
• Thank you for asking how I'm doing (or, where I was) but I'm okay now.

Don't be scared to say "I don't want to talk about it" as a reply on its own. Its just another and politer way of getting people to butt out.

I encourage you to speak to your Parent/s, Guardian and or a Teacher you trust at school, so that they are aware of what's going on, as they may be able to help.

I will also suggest that you think about getting to a point where your illness can be discussed in a group setting, either with your tutor group, teaching group or friendship group. If people know more about what you have not necessarily specific details. But an awareness about it means they have a better understanding and will get over it much quicker and probably even find ways to support you. Try speaking with an Adult that you trust at School or the School Nurse to organise something like this.

I hope it gets better and that we've help in some way.

All the best

FYB Connection

Young People for Young People

I'm a Strong Believer in Young People taking the Lead on Vocalising their View on things that effct them.

Working in a Girls Secondary School, I hear a lot of girls complain about things, but never wanting to do anything about it; moaning but never trying to come with a solution (unless pushed); ready to blame someone else but never wanting to take responsibility.

I am really pleased that we live in a country that advocates for free speech, where by our Youth have the Rights to many things (despite what they may think). The balance that I always try to teach my Mentees is that Rights go had in hand with Responsibilities.

Rights/ Human Rights/ Civil Rights etc:
- Having the right to be Safe and Protected
- Having the Rights not to be discriminated against
- Have the right to Vote in a Public Election at 18yrs old
-  Have the right to Drive from the age of 17... etc


Responsibilities, being answeble to thier actions or behaviours:
- there are (good or bad) consequences to your actions or behaviour,
- you have a responsibility to make informed and wholesome decisions
- Treating others as you would like to be treated
- Responsibilities applies to all areas of your life, if your parents ask you to help out at home - yes that does apply.

"With great power comes great responsibility." - From the Film Spider-Man

Its also important to know your Rights & Responsibilities and aim to Protect them and become active in having an effect on future changes. 

 

Take Action on things that affect your school, negibourhood, family, church etc by joining activities and networks like:


- Youth Panel
The panel for young people aged 16-29, set up to represent your views to the media, brands, the government, policy makers, educators and market researchers.
http://www.opinionpanel.co.uk/


- Legacy Youth Panel
Our Legacy Youth Panel is made up of 25 young people, between the ages of 13 and 21, from the five Olympic host boroughs, who have been given the unique opportunity to help shape the future of the Olympic Park.
http://www.londonlegacy.co.uk/community/get-involved/youth-panel/


- The Youth Panel

The Youth Panel is the aggregation of all 16-29 year olds in the OpinionPanel Community. It comprises our Applicant, Student and Graduate (young professional) members, plus Pupils at school or college, University pre-applicants and applicants, Young people in employment and training, Job seekers and University graduates.

http://www.youthsight.com/panels/the-youth-panel

* Check out what your Local Authoriy, Youth Clubs and Local Authority Parliment Groups have to Offer.... Not forgetting ...

The UK Youth Parliament ( provides opportunities for 11-18 year-olds )
The UK Youth Parliament (UKYP) was established in 1999 and is run by young people for young people, giving them the opportunity to share their opinions on issues ranging from the cost of university education to job opportunities to transport. Its views and recommendations are listened to by local and national Government and providers of services and other agencies who have an interest in the views and needs of young people.

http://www.ukyouthparliament.org.uk/



The current National Campaign for 2013 is “A Curriculum For Life”:
"We believe that the place of citizenship education and PSHE in the curriculum should be radically overhauled through a youth-led UK-wide review; they are really important for young people’s growth and development as they teach vital life skills and can be the first steps to engaging young people in political life. Teaching staff should be specifically trained to a national standard to deliver citizenship education following this review."


What is it They want?

1. a Youth Led Review of Citizenship and PSHE education
2. a radical overhaul of the current Curriculum which we feel fails us
3. a new curriculum that includes the following subjects:

o Political education
o Sex and Relationships Education (SRE)o Cultural awareness
o Community cohesion
o Finance skills
o Sustainable living
o Citizenship Education Test

Come out of your comfort Zone and Show your support at http://www.ukyouthparliament.org.uk/campaign/curriculum-life/

Its More Than Work...

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. - Steve Jobs

Careers Advice, Is 12yrs old too Young?...

"Give 12-year-olds career advice to stop them wasting their working lives says CBI director-general, John Cridland" This was an article featured in the DailyMail.co.uk.

In the Article Mr Cridland goes on to state that "The education system needs to develop the rigorous, rounded and grounded young people who can make that leap"

"Mr Cridland, whose organisation represents 240,000 businesses, said ‘face-to-face’ guidance was needed for pupils aged 12 and over and called for the National Careers Service to be given access to schools."

"A speech by John Richards, Head of Education union Unison coincided with a poll of 500 workers that found 77 per cent admit having regrets about their career choice. Four per cent felt they should have chosen a less pressurised job, according to the poll for office space provider officebroker.com. Over a third yearned for a more exciting or worthwhile job, while 31 per cent wished they had chosen something more lucrative and seven per cent wanted a less demanding role." Click to Read Above Article From The DailyMail

This got me thinking, and reminded me of several sessions I have had with students aged between 11-16. 

On one hand he has a point, getting young people as Young as 12 exposed to Careers advice, can give them a focus and help with their direction. Yet, on the other hand I don't necessarily think careers advice is the only thing that will stop them wasting working lives.

There are some young people out there who know exactly what they want to do, they are very focus, motivated, self-starters, determined with a set goal and or idea. Then there are young people who have a rough idea, are exploring options, trying things out, seeing how things go. Whilst many others have no clue.

I'm not against Careers Advice, for young people and I don't think 12 is too young to start exploring what you may want to do in the future. However my suggestion is to have 12 year olds exploring their Skills, Strengths, Abilities & Passions. Because I believe that to lower the number of Adults regretting their Career Choice, more investment needs to be placed on people exploring their natural gifts, talents & abilities.

There's Nothing wrong with not knowing what you want to be when you are older if you're 12, Its not the end of the world. When supporting my Mentees I always encourage them to start looking at the things that they are good at, getting them to Focus on the things they Love doing, their passions, strengths & interests. Then exploring what career options are available to them using the skills they already have.

We are all good at something, some people just haven't discovered it yet!